Rush To Judgement

Leander, Texas

6:32 a.m.

Dear Leah, Jack & Adam

This story took place decades ago. But the lesson learned applied then and now.

It was the time of year for our company’s annual convention.

Like so many corporations, the entire management team would annually gather at a nice destination for a combination of work and play.

Mornings were work sessions with presentations by company leaders and guest speakers. Afternoons were set aside for tours, sports and other fun activities.

Part of one day’s morning session was set aside for “breakout sessions”. These consisted of one-hour presentations by a variety of guest speakers encompassing various topics.

Everyone could choose from various subjects such as health, hospitality development, memory development, developing your inner child etc.

(Yeah, developing your inner child was a choice one year. No one ever owned booking that speaker).

As part of upper management, I would be assigned to introduce the speaker for one of the two sessions. The other session, I would be free to select and attend as a participant.

Looking over the list of choices, I chose a session on listening. I don’t recall the exact seminar title, but it was along the lines of “Active Listening” or “Empathic Listening”.

Bad choice.

The speaker spent the entire session playing the part of both Person A and Person B as a live example of what he wanted to teach.

The dialogue might be as follows:

Person A: I am upset!

Person B: I hear you telling me you are upset.

Person A: Yes! I am upset because I feel I am not being heard or seen.

Person B: I hear you telling me you are upset because you do not feel seen or heard.

Person A: You ignore me. It is as if I don’t exist!

Person B: I hear you telling me you feel that I do not acknowledge your existence.

This continues relentlessly. For an hour.

I’m ready to puke.

(After reading the above, you might be nauseous yourself).

I want out so bad! But I am the senior company representative in the room and there is absolutely no way I will embarrass the company nor an invited guest speaker by walking out.

So, despite having a golf tee time after this presentation, I endure, fully wanting to be on the range warming up instead of listening to more Person A and Person B diatribe.

Mercifully, it comes to an end. But not before another first and only in my dishwasher career.

The speaker wraps up his presentation but announces that before we are dismissed, his wife is going to sing a song to us “So he can deduct her travel expenses for tax purposes”.

So weird.

But it is, candidly, the highlight of the hour and I commend the speaker for his honesty and ingenuity.

My tee time awaits!!

Let’s fast forward a few years.

It seems everywhere I go…everyone I talk with…is raving about some 7 Habits book. I have no clue, but being a curious guy who loves to learn, I want to know more.

I soon learn the book title is “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey.

WAIT…I KNOW THAT NAME!

Yep. The same Stephen R. Covey that tormented me for an hour of my life I will never get back discussing some sort of listening poppycock.

I remember my reaction as if it were yesterday. I don’t care what others say. I don’t care what the reviews are. I don’t care if the book sells for $1. I’m not buying!!

My scars run too deep😊

Eventually I cave and make the purchase. And like so many, benefit immensely from the wisdom of Mr. Covey.

However, it takes some time before I purchase one of the most influential personal development books ever written.

It takes time for me to overcome my “Rush To Judgement.”

Only later did I discover that the book I’d dismissed had become one of the most influential personal development books ever written—selling more than 40 million copies worldwide and changing the way millions of people thought about leadership, relationships, and personal responsibility.

So grandkids—here is the lesson.

Be careful when your mind says, “I’ve seen enough.”

Maybe you haven’t.

One conversation is not a life.

One mistake is not a person’s character.

One disappointing performance is not a measure of someone’s wisdom.

Some of life’s greatest treasures are hidden behind first impressions that almost send us walking away.

I sometimes wonder how many wonderful books I’ve never read because of a first impression.

How many remarkable people I’ve never really known because of one awkward conversation.

How many opportunities I’ve quietly walked away from because I had already made up my mind.

Stephen Covey earned my respect.

The irony is that one of his central teachings was to seek first to understand, then to be understood.

I almost missed that lesson—not because it wasn’t true, but because I had already decided it couldn’t possibly be worth hearing.

The older I get, the more convinced I become that changing your mind is not a sign of weakness.

It’s a sign of wisdom.

And if your old Papa has learned anything over the years, it’s this:

Don’t let one disappointing chapter keep you from reading an extraordinary book.

I’ve discovered that some of God’s best lessons come wrapped in packages I almost threw away.